ode to annah:

I decided I'd write this down. So that Annah can read it as often as she wants if she misses me. Not that she'll read the blog ever. Or that she'll miss me. (That was a lie. The latter.) Anyways, here goes.

A few weeks ago, I was pregnant. No, I didn't think I was pregnant, I knew I was pregnant. And I wasn't actually pregnant. As I said in the previous blog post, unless immaculate conception is a real deal, there is no possible way I could be pregnant. That said, I was pregnant. Here's what happened.

I was hanging out with my friends afeinbe2, alipman2, and mjane2 (get it? huh? huh?) and we were doing funny things. Annah was a dead fish and I reeled her in. I made Amy's hand have sex with my thumb (?). Amy told a story about a peen. [Side note: I just found out that peen is an actual thing.

peen (pn)
n.
The end of a hammerhead opposite the flat striking surface, often wedge-shaped or ball-shaped and used for chipping, indenting, and metalworking.
tr.v. peened, peen·ing, peens
To hammer, bend, or shape with a peen.

OK, back to the story.]

So, we're talking about peens and suddenly I'm convinced that I'm having sex. As in, there were no guys present, and I was fully clothed, but somehow, I was positive I was having sex. That's the end of that night. Oh, also, Amy had made a cake that was really big and I ate at least half of it, probably closer to 3/4. And I ate a bowl of chili, and some nachos, and broccoli and cheddar and... maybe something else? I don't remember. Point is, when Amy left at 1 am and Annah went to bed, I was very very full. I fell asleep on the couch.

Around 7 am I woke up and, still not quite sober, made my way into my bedroom. In my bedroom, I have a full length mirror that I walk by on my way to my bed.

To be continued...

Snot

I'm pretty good at Scrabulous. That's cool.

I have so much snot right now. It's gross. And gets in the way of my life.

A direct result of the snot, I have washed my hands approximately (no exaggeration, I think) 50 times today. That's extravagant, but I don't want to make germ filled lattes or get my roomie sick.

Speaking of ... coffee things, I made an excellent soy cap today and Todd complimented me. That's huge. FYI.

I'm actually putting my laundry away right now. It's pretty exciting. Good work. Also, I'm purging old clothes. It's an ongoing process but basically I have too many things and I'm sick of that. There are people more deserving of the stuff that I have and don't appreciate. So, yes.

I'm weirding Annah out with this whole obsession-with-being-pregnant-someday thing, but she knows that's a while away. Also, it's just weird when you actually think you're preggers albeit the absolute lack of possibility of that happening. Unless immaculate conception is an actual thing which ... I think it isn't? So, no worries. But it's still a weird thing. To be so calm about.

Hah. Lesbians.

i'm allowed to write a subject like that, right?

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS

Winter break? Nope, wrong season.

SO HAPPY

Guys. My host family wrote me back. I'm so pleased. There's no new info, except my host mom retired. And they'll send photos soon. I'm so pleased! (:

Also:
look at this!

hey, asshats!!

hey guys.

remember the time freshman year when rio and danny had that scene in which danny used the phrase, "asshat," and i thought it was hilarious??

well, i'm BRINGING IT BACK!!!

anyway, i had a lovely evening last night.

i played some guitar and heard some guitar and touched someone's bod and listened to some music and drank some tea and wore someone else's clothes to bed.

i like this part of my year, despite the finals and shizz.

but writing these gws papers makes me feel like a smart pup, and turning them in makes me feel like a productive member of postmodern society vague-ville.

and studying for peter's final makes me want to punch him since i will probably earn an average grade in his class, despite my gushing knowledge in the field of live theatrical drama plays.

i also would like to start maybe a top moments of the semester. starting with these moments.

1. trying to find the cause of castlevetro's death and deciding upon shark attack
2. the night that kinzie said, "hey, come over and write that gws paper of yours, annah and i are studying, too," and i came over and you guys were actually drinking wine and making cookies and then i didn't go home until 2 in the morning.
3. the night that kinzie and i sat on the floor and loudly wondered why we didn't have boyfriends as she tried to manage her gas while i looked like a homeless, adolescent boy
4. the day that annah and i walked across the quad and i had to sit down in order to prevent the peeing of my pants and the male cheerleader flashed us his thigh
5. my most triumphant confession.

"amy, we need to talk."
"is this about tennessee williams?"
"no."
"is this about...your butt?"
"...yes."

Amy Lipman, everyone...

"I wish my body produced written words as much as it produces snot. Or urine."

Questioning the Father: From Darwin to Zola, Ibsen, Strindberg, and Hardy

When I typed in the beginnings of the word Question into the title, that's what showed up in my ... computer's memory or whatever. And who am I to deny God's will?

I've been real into God lately. Mostly as a joke. But I'm attempting not to be offensive about it because I don't mean it that way. I just think it's a funny thing, you know? Like, attributing things to God? Dunno.

Um, basically the reason I'm posting is to say "WHY THE FUCK DO I KEEP CHECKING THIS EVERY FIVE MINUTES?!?" Because I know that no one else is posting. Because they're sitting right by me.

Pokeys!

winter break is approaching!!

hey, mo's.



here is what i plan to do over winter break:



1. go to israel
2. walk my dog
3. purchase the same book for bobbie and jeff lipman, and myself, so that we can have a nerdy family book club discussion
4. make them read the book
5. make them be in my club
6. see"darjeeling limited"
7. keep doing pilates, even though it will be by myself
8. play my guitar





and here are my goals for winter break!!



1. work on the play i started a few weeks ago
2. write more poems
3. read books that everyone references all the time that i've never read, such as "animal farm," or "lolita," or something by Nietzsche, and also "mein kampf."
4. write a song



jk on the mein kampf.

responding to the response

it was an ... experience.

lives

kinzie

i like those goals.


i am glad you are getting a new uni.

i am also going to make some, but now i have to go make my tea to go to class. and brush my teeth. and uuughgghhghghghhg i haaate being siiiick but at least my stomach doesn't hurt anymorrrre.

today, i am goingto also make some winter break goals!!!

xoxoxooxox to you botttthhhh

Winter Break Goals

-become good at playing my uki
-work out a lot
-make a lot of money
-see friends
-explore life (not as generic/cheesy as it sounds)
****go to c-street
****go to glbt club things
****research grad school
-learn italian
-work on french (somehow?)
-wear my uni(s)
****a new one is coming in the mail soon. shh!
-use capital letters someday. maybe.