Uninteresting Musings

So the Laurie Carlos cast list is up and at 'em. I can't wait. It's going to be great.

I love my new running shoes. I have never had such neat gym shoes before, I feel like I'm the coolest kid in gym class in third grade.

I am going to grow my hair out all this summer and then dye it red.

Things I like right now:

Spinach
Hard boiled eggs
The drawings on boxes of Tea

Things I want right now:

For people to burn me mix CD's because I need new music

I just gots to finish this group project, the play, scholarship applications, and then I will have loads of time to mooch around, studying and hooting and hollering and working at the Thai restauranttttt.

By the way, one of the waitresses told me that

"Someone in the kitchen is...like you."
So I guess that means that I am
A. Very similar to the burly, international kitchen staff at Siam Terrace, or
B. That someone thinks it is attractive when I walk into the kitchen, almost slip, and then throw silverware into the little tub of nasty silverware chunks-of-food water and get the water all over the place and then slyly take off.

It is 5:11. I have to be back at The Institution (Krannert, obvi) in 49 minutes. I'm sick of how predictable it is. Do I have to go see Hamlet? (Yes.) Oh, okay. If you insist...

I might eat all of Annah's soy hot dogs. I'm a fan.

Currently, I'm reading a book for fun. Water for Elephants. Ever heard of it? I'm liking it so far except it's blatantly obvious that the main character, though a man, was written by a woman. Because he says funny things about peens that I notice and you notice, but I feel like men don't notice. Or maybe they do. But it's also clear that the woman who wrote it is not 93 like the protagonist. Oh well.

I have a huge craving to play Dar Williams on my ukulele. But I left it at Ron's house. Oops.

Peace out, mofos.

EARRRRRRRRRTHQUAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.
5.4 on the scale.
Ridiculous.

A well thought out research paper by Kinzie Cornell.
(Oh wait, I don't know how to do one of those... Wah wahhhh.)

I have an awkward sunburn consisting of a little patch on the back of my neck, a patch on my left ankle, and the top of my right hand. I don't get it but it's a bit uncomfortable. Not to mention funny looking.

George Sand's autobiography, comprised of a bunch of letters she wrote some peeps, mostly her mom, is entitled: "Story of My Life." Terrible. And so so good.

One of Jackye's friends is at Paradiso right now too. But I only know her because of how much I've facebook creeped Jackye. I'm a bit of a sad pup. But it's wasted energy, I suppose. Ah well.

I like my green pen from the deaf guy that was used by the crazy ladies at Panera on Monday. Is it weird that that's what's keeping me going? I guess that's the story of my life. HA. Oops. Nice work, Kinzie.

I am stressing about subletting, which is funny because I actually found someone. Problems and feelings. That's what I got goin' on.

I'm going to eat a grapple now.

I regretfully admit that Alfred Jarry has caused me to LOL.

He's actually pretty funny. Perhaps for my paper, I can do a compare/contrast of Alfred Jarry and Alf and their iconic influences/similar appearances.

just the tip of tips.

Last night I dreamed that Tom Mitchell came to hang out with us but I was taking a nap and so I woke up and was wearing a sun dress and he said, "Kinzie, that's inappropriate for the weather" and I said, "Silly Tom, it's 60 outside!" and he said, "Yes, Kinzie, I know. But it's also snowing." And then I looked out the window and there was half a foot of snow on the ground and it was still going strong. So I told Eleni that it didn't matter; I would just wear my pink snow boots -- they match my dress anyways!

Yep.

I have a paper to write. Oops. Wine to the rescue!

ALFRED JARRY IS BAD.

I hate Alfred Jarry. He's gross and stupid. And I'm writing a ten-page paper on him. Bye!!

b-b-b-bitchin'

AaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhIhadtoworklastnightandIhavetoworktonightandIamscrewwwwwwwwwwed!!

And I wasted time yesterdaygettingbooksfromthestacksaboutGertrudeStein and then realized thatmythesiswouldn'twork because some assholehadalreadycheckedthebooksoutthatIwanted

andsonow

I am writing about ALRED JARRY who is NUTS. and I am trying to
FIGUREOUTHOWTO FIXTHEFOOTNOTES FOR VAL'S PAPER BECAUSE I DON'T-

oh who cares.

Love,

Amy

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Actually, this is our 99th post. Next will be 100. And obvi, when you say 99, you have to sing. No? Oh, okay.

I really wish I were still in New York. I am weirdly enamored with the city. Maybe not weirdly. It's not like I have a stalkerish crush on it. But I really want to be there and not in CU and not in Chicago. Maybe someday.

I also really need to be writing/reading about George Sand. But so what if she smoked cigars? [Well, okay, that is pretty sweet.] I want to be done with this year more than I can possibly explain. At least I'm not alone in this feeling because I know for a fact that Annah feels similarly, and probably Amy does too. And the rest of the world, I'm sure. Why wouldn't they?

I was reading Cosmopolitan this weekend and there was this girl who was complaining, "I loathe when people call dinner dins--as in "Let's have dins at my place." I can deal with totes for totally and obvs for obviously, but dins? It's so annoying."

<---Really?

Some things.

Three things I am happy about:
1) We are having a Father of the Bride marathon.
2) I have seen three Broadway shows, none of which have been disappointing. And two of which were incredible. And I spent a total of 80 dollars on them. Combined.
3) It has barely rained here. Only once did it rain and it was on the way home from a bar at 12:30. So we were pleasant.


Three things I could live without:
1) The cold weather and the wind today. Gross.
2) My incredible hangover headache that is still here at 7:15 pm.
3) Leaving tomorrow. Really, I just want to stay here and not worry about my paper. What a tragedy.

And scene.



EDIT: I just ran into my favorite dancer from In the Heights. And he's beautiful and talented and we talked for a long time while I was buying flowers for the peeps I'm staying with. So nice. And attractive. Oh man.

Challah is baking in the oven

I am baking challah. As we speak.

I feel a little skanky from the other night.

I am so freaking elated about interning at Steppenwolf this summer. Jon Hill said he would come visit me.

Last night Eleni was the drunkest I've seen her in a while and I was happy for her. She opened the door of a cab that was stopped at a red light on Green Street. It was a "Freedom Cab" so as soon as she opened it she yelled "Freeeeedddooooommmm" a bunch of times.

I am excited to see showcase on Monday, even if it is a little bad and nobody comes. I am also excited for my coffee date with Lynn.

I am also excited that I finished Valleri's paper--1 down 2 to go. And that I have decided to write my African American Studies final paper on the August Wilson/Robert Brustein debate which I have always wanted to read more about anyway.

Richard Schecher can suck my dick.

I hope the challah doesn't suck. I might bring a loaf to Rons. Maybe I can be "Jewish Mother Barbie". That actually might be a little funny. Or maybe I'll just wear something pink.

Today Today

Today is Murphy Lipman's birthday. He is 12. it is his golden birthday. Hooray!!

1. My stomach hates me. It is jittery and weird.
2. I wish I were better at writing papers. But I am on page 6 of Valleri's, and it's not great, but I think that I have some moments within it that I can expand on.
3. "Mouthful of Birds" had some really good moments in it. I am proud of my roommate. She is good.

Things to do before the end of the year:

1. Play "Apples to Apples"
2. Revise play, have reading of play
3. Make dinner for Iris (right?)

Things I plan to do in Naperville the second half of May and first half of August:

1. Hang out at the library
2. Bake cookies
3. Start a book club with Bobbie and Jeff Lipman in which we will have scholarly family discussions and I administer pop quizzes to see if they've read the book while said members of family are trying to do legitimate activities, such as paying taxes or my credit card bill or refilling Murphy's dog dish


THEN I WILL GO TO LOUISVILLE!!

The Apple of my Eye

The poll. I don't know how to interpret it. Because 3 people voted. And more answers were chosen, a they should have been. Obviously some people cream-and-sugar. Personally ("For me, personally, what I do" -- Danny Mc), I add Splenda™ to my coffee. Though I usually get Soy Spanish Lattes anyways, so never mind. Yep.

New quiz: non-sexual fantasies. This has been a theme of my life these days. And what a good one. But some people don't get them. Waterfalls? No, Adam. I mean, maybe, but do these aforementioned waterfalls tap dance? Then maybe not...q

So New York, which is where I am now. I like it. A lot. I feel nice and independent. But not very nice. Dunno. Contradiction. Anyways, I'm a fan. And I had an epiphany. You know how in Champaign-Urbana, people are quaint and you smile at them when you pass? And you know how in cities (or really anywhere other than CU or Mahomet) you don't make eye contact? WELL, the exception to this rule: you can make eye contact with someone if they have a dog or a child. And you look at the dog/child first, and then at the owner/parent/adult. Then, and (generally) only then can you make eye contact with a stranger without seeming like a creep.

I'm gonna go get a dog and a kid. Peace out, mofos.

I really suck at blogging. Because blog is a made up word. As are all words, I guess.

So I am going to copy the format of one of Amy's posts. Because I have no original thoughts. No thoughts at all.

It is Wednesday. And I want...

1. To digest the food from the Wok that is in my belly.
2. To hear back from internships. And get one of them.
3. To go to Murphs tomorrow.
4. To finish this paper tonight. But not before looking at more pictures of naked people with funny nips. All in the name of research.
5. To have sex sometime in the near future.

Things I am grateful for:

1. Sunday sass with Cam.
2. Warmer weather.
3. That In the Blood is over. And how it went.
4. That my sister is coming here next year.
5. That my brother and his girlfriend are the Bill and Hillary of the track team at Deerfield High School.
6. Dada.
7. Luminous forms.
8. The "at least I'm not" game.

Thoughts.

-Annah

A scholarly post by Amy Lipman

OMGZ MINA LOY IS A CRAZY BITCH AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY.

From an article that Val gave me:

"Loy argues that women must 'Leave off looking to men to find out what you are not. Seek within yourself to find out what you are. As conditions at present are constituted you have the choice between Parasitism, Prostitution, or Negation.' Much of Loy's manifesto focuses on the social conditions of women, critiquing the institution of marriage as an economic transaction in which the bride exchanges her virginity for financial security. In order to do away with women's subjugation, Loy states that 'Woman must destroy in herself the desire to be loved' and calls for 'the unconditional surgical destruction of virginity throughout the female population at the age of puberty.' Although undoubtedly made mostly for their shock value, these statements also reflect (as would Marinetti's later manifesto) a quasi-Marxist reading of the institution of marriage in which economics and feminine virtue are linked through traditional notions of love."

-Mina Loy's Futurist Theatre by Julie Schmid

But who says that she made these statements for shock value? Who can be sure? Though she probably wouldn't be in favor of a violent or compulsory destruction of virginity...she clearly thinks that throwing away the connotative meaning of virginity would benefit society, and prevent women from relying on the exchange of virginity for love.

Jeez.

plaid shorts

Oh hello. So it's still Tuesday. And I want...
1. my papers to write themselves
2. to eat Papa Del's
3. to see Murphy
4. to go to Murphy's
5. to drink beer at Murphy's
6. for my leg to stop itching

Yes, everyone, it's another exciting day in the life of Amy Lipman.

I also want to be in a rock band. Isaac and I are starting one next year, so get ready, everyone.

I'm going to end this bad post by listing what I'm grateful for:

1. The Okkervil River concert in October
2. My heart-to-heart with Cam and Annah last Sunday
3. How "In The Blood" turned out
4. When Tom Mitchell came to see me read my paper at crappy Eastern
5. Alternative Spring Break in D.C.
6. Going to Great Harvest Bread Company on Fridays
7. The night that Kinzie and I sat on the kitchen floor and I told her about why I'm bad at therapy
8. The night that we rapped in the car
9. When Al made that really good cake
10. Adriana
11. My cousins
12. Good runs
13. Paint shop practicum
14. My guitar
15. My poetry class
16. Virginia
17. G-Rich
18. Nicole
19. Liz
20. My parents
21. The trip to Israel
22. Harry Potter movies
23. Opportunities

I have to say, witnessing a marriage proposal tonight was pretty sweet. I guess.

In other news, I consumed vodka tonight. And so far, so good. But we'll see. Jury's still out.

I just trimmed my toe nails. Before personal solitude, I would never have been capable of typing that on the World Wide Web. But, there, I did it. And I'm not even naked.

I have some things to do. Like, two of them.

I have a crush on the boy who works at the Apple store. But he still hasn't replied to my facebook message. Which is fine. I'm basically over it.

Fin.

AHHHHHHHH I HATE BUYING TICKETS ONLINE. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. THAT'S ALL.

(more later, maybs.)

An Unintentional (But Very Great) Pun

"Man, these scissor's really aren't working. They're just not cutting it."

BWAHAHAHA.

hey hey you you

So things are going pretty well. I discovered from reading the back of my pseudophedrine (Hard-core Sudafed) box that,

"While on this medication, if you feel sleepless, nervous, or dizzy, consult a doctor."

So I guess that explains why, since Sunday, I've been lying in my bed for 5 hours a night trying to fall asleep. I'm done with you, sinus pills.

In other news, I received a call on Monday evening. It went like this:

"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Abby?"
"Um, no. This is Amy, though. Yup."
"Oh, ok. Are you still looking for a job?"
"Yes."
"Oh, would you like to come in to talk about a job?"
"Oh, yes."
"Great."
...
"Sorry, who is this?"
"Oh, this is Eddie."
"Oh. Great."
"From Siam Terrace."
"OHHHHHH!"

So that should be nice. I LOVE Thai Food, and I love awkward interactions. He told me to make sure and call his cell though, before I get there, because he, "Might be outside, walking around" (?).

Here's hoping!!

le poisson d'avril

I don't know how to capitalize things in French. So I just don't, sometimes.

In France, April Fool's Day is called le poisson d'avril, meaning "the fish of April." April 1st used to be the first day of the new year until Charles IX came along. He changed it to 01/01 back in 1564. But some dudes decided to give gifts on April 1 anyways. So they gave fake gifts because they were cheap and didn't want to give expensive gifts TWICE. Apparently April is a month where there aren't good fish because the waters are cold and the fish are reproducing [side note: remember when the dolphins were having sex so I couldn't go swimming with them?], so one day, these aforementioned "dudes" decided to put a whole bunch of fresh fish in the water for the fishermen. And then they shouted out "April fish! April fish!"

Cool.

Today I made a bunch of terrible jokes about it being April Fool's Day. This is what happened. A lot.

Customer: Hello. I would like a medium house coffee.
Me: Oh. Sorry. We're out of coffee.
Looooong pause.
Me: Ha. ... Ha. Joke! Happy April Fool's Day! I got you!
Customer: (blank stare)... So, can I get my coffee?
Me: Yep. 1.84 please. Have a great day!
Customer: Good luck.
Me: Heh. Heh. I'll need it. Guess I should have some coffee before I try making jokes, huh?
Customer: Um. (walks away)

Unfortunately, that's not special to today. I make jokes like this all the time and usually my customers don't get it. My favorite these days has been the response to the question "Can I get a large house?"

Me: ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT A MANSION? Hahahahahahahaha!
Customer: silence or, if I'm real lucky, uncomfortable laughter
Me: Get it? Like, a large house would be a mansion? Or, like, a ... really really big house?
Customer: Oh.

There are approximately four customers who laugh at such jokes. Large Skim Latte™, Medium Skim Cap Lady™, Apple Fritter™, and Medium Coffee Of The Day™ are my personal fan club. It's pretty sweet, really.