wild packs of family dogs

many things

1. i am importing "the moon and antartica" by modest mouse into my itunes now. it's a cd i've wanted for a while. there is a track by them called "lives."

2. i cannot, absolutely cannot live at home this summer. i am sluggish here, and my mom tells me how to drive and then i am a brat even though i know she's just looking out for us.

3. i <3 pumpkin pie

3.5. i finally read "the perks of being a wallflower" after many people have recommended it to me over the years. and it made me sad but i'd also like to carry it around with me in my new beautiful purse that mrs. zerna made.

4. i am so nervous for this coffee i am supposedly going to have with this boy. i gave him my phone number, and he said he would call. if he doesn't, i'll feel stupid. if he does, i'll have no idea what to say to him. i haven't been on one of these things in a while, and i keep almost making up things to say in my head. what the hell am i supposed to say to him? i don't know what to say. i hope he talks a lot. i really, really hope he talks a lot. he seems a little shy. oh, and he is also very cute. he's very very cute. and tall, and laughed when i said i was going to be a dog dressed up as a person for halloween next year, which is how i found out that he seems like an someone i'd like to like, since he laughed at that. that's exactly how i guage boys/men/manboys/young men. i say weird things that i'd say to my friends that people advise me not to say in front of people i'm attracted to and see what they do. and also, if it happens, while it is happening, i don't want him to know how glad i am that it is happening, while it is happening, if it happens. the reason i am glad is because he seems very nice, and i didn't have to do anything at all to get him to find me and ask me, which seems too easy, and which seems just what i wanted to happen, after a year of getting involved with wishy-washy, half-assers who sort of like me but not really and who are incredibly complicated and scary. i mean, this is what is supposed to happen to people who get to know each other. and it happened. which i'm not used to. so basically i know this isn't a big deal but really i'm just scared that he'll sense the nervousness/happiness and get freaked out and think i'm a freak and then never call me again.

4. i miss you two.

i'm a little tips, but mean every word.

xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoooooo

p.s. tonight for dinner, we met my sister & co at this INCREDIBLE crepe place in chicago in andersonville, and they have dinner crepes and desssert crepes, and the crepe that i got had pineapple and pistachios and ricotta cheese and tomatoes and spinach in it and it was SOOOooooOOoooooOoOOOOO good and i wanted a dessert one but we had to rush off to this thing at the noble horse theatre which is right by steppenwolf, and it was "the nutcracker" on horseback and it was incredibly sketchy and weird and like Medieval Times for total creeps/this busload of Amish people who were in attendance. it was SO WEIRD AND I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL ALL OF YOU MO-FO'S ABOUT IT HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA.

thanks for continuing to associate yourselves with me.

i cannot express how much i mean it.

i mean, look at it for what it is, really. here's really what it is:

things that are wrong with me
by amy lipman

1. i am horrible
2. i eat a lot of chocolate all the time
3. i pee if i laugh too hard
4. i cry if i laugh too hard
5. once i think i cried and peed and then laughed at the same time because i'd slipped and fallen down my driveway while walking my dog and i had to pee really bad and then my snowpants stuck to the snow and ice and so i was kind of half sliding, half sticking down the driveway and crying because my butt hurt from falling and then i peed my pants and then i laughed

ok i really should stop typing now, bye