Unfortunate Jobs That People Have

Today, I was sitting in a chair in my apartment, doing some homework. Then, there was a knock on the door. I thought maybe I'd won some money, or a cat. But it was a girl who wanted me to give her money in exchange for a fun-sized Snickers bar and the knowledge that I'd done a good deed for some underpriviledged hooligans in the Champaign-Urbana area. I gave her a dollar. I felt weird not giving her a dollar. But I also wanted that dollar.

Then I started thinking about other things that people have to do to give them money for charitable things, and how most people don't give them anything. I think they need to take a new approach to it. Like, maybe show up with a boombox with some rap music and a B-List Celebrity, and one of those white tigers from the Siegfried and Roy act in Las Vegas.

Then I started thinking about how it sucks to try to get people to give you a break, and about jobs that I hope I never have. I hope I am never a person who administers parking tickets, or someone who cleans the bathroom at the gas station, or someone who issues new i-Cards at the STUPID UNION BOOKSTORE.

I LOST MY I-CARD AND THEY WON'T GIVE ME A NEW ONE UNLESS I GIVE THEM TWENTY DOLLARS. IT'S IN MY ROOM. I KNOW IT'S IN THERE, MY ROOM IS VERY SMALL, BUT I CANNOT FIND IT, AND I REFUSE TO BUY A NEW ONE BECAUSE I PLAN ON SPENDING MY TWENTY DOLLARS ON OTHER THINGS, LIKE CANDY OR BOOZE.

Bye!!