"our country is an adolescent boy."

Right you are, Annah Taryn. Right you are.

Today, the conversation between Annah and I between Dramaturgy and Oral Interp consisted of the state of ambiguity (A.K.A. the common state of spineless and shifty adolescent boys who grow up to run the country) in our country.

So many conversations go like this:

"Oh, hey, I forgot to bring that really, really important thing. I mean, I guess I could go back and get it, but like...I mean..."
"Oh, hey, no it's fine."
"Really? For serious?"
"Yeah, I mean, like...I guess it's fine. I know that you're trying to get into a different country, and you don't have your passport, but I mean...like...I guess it's sort of fine. Let me go check with my boss, hang on."
"Well where should I wait?"
"Ummm...back in your own country, I guess. Like...because...that's where you're from."
"Oh. But like...wouldn't it be ok if I just sort of came in?"

So, I mean...whatever.

And this state of noncommital opinions and dynamics in relationships and day-to-day interactions with other people lead us all to appologize for ourselves, and lead to failure to commit to or assert an opinion.

And my GWS professor told me not to be a wilted violet, so I have to listen to her. Because she's brilliant. And I want to be smart, too.

Perhaps I'm on my way. I really want to be so smart. And some people in Charleston, Illinois want me to come read my paper. Maybe there will even be people who like theatre there. But maybe not. Maybe I am the only person who entered this competition, maybe me and someone who doesn't speak English, and they will just give me five dollars and ask me to leave so they don't have to listen to why I think that Maria Irene Fornes should be in charge of the universe.

I wish I were in a rock and roll band.