I have a crush on a slightly questionable candidate.

Whatever.

In other news, I'm starting a blues band. I am also currently cleaning the 712 W. Illinois kitchen, listening to Billie Holiday, smelling the smell of my banana bread baking, and pondering my next move. I think I shall watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" tonight. Yes. That sounds good.

I want to sleep forever and ever. In other news, I asked to work full-time next week and I got ... ONE SHIFT. Five whole hours. Thanks, Johnny! Glad I can pay my heat bill this month...

JK, kind of.

For two days, I have had all my clean laundry on my bed, ready to be put away. I keep thinking that if it's on my bed, I will surely have to put it away before I go to sleep. But instead I just kind of shove it to the side and sleep on half of my bed.

In other news, I got drunk today and went to class. Three of my classmates were drunk too. It's a lot more exciting to do that when it's not Unofficial-- it's so cliché when everyone else is doing it, but today it felt like a big secret. Scandal! And my directing class is going to Murphy's tomorrow for class. Oops. Guess I'm drinking a lot these days.

My foot hurts, but not as bad as it did before. Hopefully it's healing itself and I can run again soon. I miss it.

OKbye.

The show opens today! Finally! We've been in rehearsal since September 2nd! Ahhhhhh!

Soooo, now I'm IN Map Light.

Rarhahrharhahrhar.

My first and last Krannert show, aren't you all proud of me??

Thanks, Laurie Carlos.

-Amy

I burned my hand and it really hurts. Now I'm using some frozen cut leaf spinach (in a bag) to ice it. I might take a nap. And some Advil. And then go to the gym. Because I am a hardcore dude like that. Also, the snow is nice but only if you don't have to walk far in it. Then, cars are nice, but only if the brakes work.

Boston was a great, necessary thing. I'm glad to be back but it was good good good. Now I'm going to the gym and eating super healthy (well, at least making vague efforts to do that) to work off all the JP Licks. See, they had a new monthly flavor called Peanut Butter Oreo. Turns out the winter is not even enough to keep me away. Good thing I don't live there. (NOT!)

Anyways. I really like working out at the ARC (the new IMPE). It has weight machines that counts for you. I feel really good about this. Oh modern technology...

Back to get a part of me...

I'm off to Boston. I'll miss you!

Thoughts

Every so often I feel like going on a wild road trip, thinking I just need to see more parts of the country.

I don't know where I want to go, though. I just think, though, that it's important to remind ourselves how small we are every once and a while. Or daily, really. It's not that we're completely insignificant, but there's so much out there in the world that we haven't seen yet, so I don't know why I hold and hold and hold onto things. It's not as if I'll forget them, I remember so much.

But I think it's unhealthy to try to re-live things. Because there are some things that are constant in our lives (for me, it's cookies, and music, and my friends, and my cousins, and my mom, and these days it's even my dad most of the time) that can always be present, and others that can't, I guess, like old loves and old feelings and old weights and old laughs, even if the joke is still funny, or the person is still beautiful, or whatever.

I guess that all I'm trying to say is that there are so many people and things I've never seen or smelled or touched or tasted, there are even words I've never said or written into anything at all.

I just want to drive and drive, but I can't be all places at once, because here at school is a good good place to be.

I need to stop stretching myself so thin and just be where I am.

Thank you thank you, where I am.

NVM. We're good.

Phew!

VOTE FOR OBAMA

Today was really scary. I went to the polling place and got in line and got my ballot and went into the booth. All fine. But then I pulled out the pen and opened the ballot and almost started crying. It has never been real to me, the idea that McCain could actually be our next president. I have been joking in my brain, thinking, "Oh, haha, I'm gonna vote for Sarah Palin because she's HOTT." But I never actually thought about the fact that some people might be walking in to the booth trying to hand John McCain our country. It was really really scary.

The choice has seemed so clear, so apparent to me from Day 1. I've been an Obama supporter since he ran for Senate. I guess it never seemed like much of a decision. But seeing other names there on that ballot made everything real. Terrifying and real.

So I hope that everyone goes out there and does what they can to save our country. I'm scared. But I've done my part -- I'm just crossing my fingers now and hoping really hard. We'll see...

Where'd my b-e-e-d go?

Basically, I have become an old man. I'm going to bed now. But I'm working at 6 am so I feel justified.

I've eaten weird foods tonight. Like a vague salad, some cool whip whipped cream, a bite of butter pecan ice cream, and oatmeal with raisins.

I am learning a lot about cats, like the different kinds that there are. From our clock. There's Selkirk Rex, Russian Blue, Persian, Maine Coon, and American Curl, to name a few. But that's just midnight to 4. You'll just have to wait for the rest.

That's enough. I'll leave you with a (partial) list of things we think are funny but no one else does:
1) Hamlet
2) Harvard
2b) Harvard Electrical School
3) CATS, the musical
4) Cameron Cornell dot net
5) Where'd my beej go? I can't find it.
6) Animals dressing up as other animals
7) Animals dressing up as themselves
8) Our dads
9) Unitards
10) Standing against the wall.
BONUS) Wambaaaaa, JH, AH, JHK (like the friendly ghost but with a K)

Allllll byyyyy myyyyse-e-elf...

Wear Your Love Like Heaven

Hello.

I think that what I need to do at this point in my life follows:

1. Listen to more records than I already do
2. Put together nice outfits for myself so I feel nice
3. Work on my abs
4. Make delicious warm vegetarian stews with lots of protein in them in my croc pot
5. Play my guitar more so my band, Old Dirty Boot, can get really famous

And I will continue to

1. Work on my play
2. Write poems
3. Not have a crush on anybody
4. Writewritewritereadreadread

Stuff that will never stop making me happy:

1. When Kinzie does German accents
2. The mismatched buttons I just sewed on my coat today
3. When my parents and I go to Chinatown
4. Murphy Lipman

Possible Halloween costumes:

1. George Washington
2. A green pea
3. Snoopy

I don't know.

Love,
Amy

Fiyah haus, JA!

Freshman year, Ernie would yell things out in a faux German accent every time we walked by Firehaus. I think we walked by once. Total. But he yelled some things that one glorious time. Yes he did. Now I'm the one who "tawks like ze Djermahns und makes ze djoks ubout ze Djermahn pahty wis ze peenis rhouund of ze beehr pong."

I should never be allowed in public.

I had grand plans to go to Firehaus tonight for about five minutes. But then I drove up and parked and observed the obscenely long line. So I cut in line and promptly saw a girl who was sitting and barfing a lot. And Firehaus guys were walking around going, "Whose friend is she?" ("Where'd my beej go? I can't find it.) So then I texted J3 and went home. To not-my-home.

I'm dog sitting again and it's good. We're going running tomorrow. Me and Merlin. The dog. Tonight we're gonna schmurfle. AKA he'll snore and drool on my pillow but I'm okay with it. We get each other.

Earlier, Annah and Amy and I looked at a lot of pictures from the past. There were so many epitomes and it was nice. I really like thinking about how things were and I also really like thinking about how much we're not like that anymore.

okbye.

Hiatus Done.

Yeah, okay, I'm back. There's something vaguely intimidating about posting for the first time in a while-- like, "my post's gotta be so brilliant to make up for lost time." Or something. But whatever, man, whatever. It's all chill up in hurr.

School is in full swing. I made it through a really intense two weeks of midterms/papers and I'm feeling alright about things now. Actually, I feel so on track in a lot of areas of my life, and that's something that doesn't usually happen. I often get really on top of one thing or another, but then something else slides. But right now, I'm kicking butt in a few of my classes that are hard, and I'm working out and eating right (and I've lost 8 lbs), and I'm sleeping and socializing and, yes, my room is messy, but let's be honest-- when isn't it messy?

And I just bought a spontaneous plane ticket to go to Boston for the end of the week before Thanksgiving break. I'll get to see my kids and my various Boston friends and for a day or two, I'll visit my friends who go to Smith and Hampshire. [Perhaps I'll even get to meet Daisy?/Michelle, wanna go to Tip Top Thai at some point when I'm there?] Basically, I can't wait to be back in Boston where I am a happy pup because Rachel and Alexander are there and so are many other great people/places/things. And I will get some JP Licks.

I'm skipping Jewish Storytelling right now so I can "do some homework" but really I'm just watching Grey's Anatomy and doing some good ol' sitting. Maybe I'll read for class now. Yep, that's what I'm going to do*.







*Let's be honest: I'm going to go get a spoonful of Cool Whip and watch another episode of Grey's. Duh.

It's true, Michelle!

I will post someday. Maybe after I take my French test from Hell™. But for now, keep in mind that the French verb "bondir" means "to leap" but in the expression "faire bondir," it means to make someone's blood boil. Or to make them "really hopping mad." According to my French book. Which is basically God.

Rewind: Freshman Year

Last night we went to a party. An Urbana house party. And it was as it should be (have been): loud; sweaty; drunken; and complete with awkward freshmen who think they're really cool and who do keg stands and put their butts on people.

Please don't get the wrong idea-- you will be hard pressed to find something that I enjoy more than a sweaty, shirtless freshman swaying into me while checking out the ladies at the party, attempting to remain vertical. I really do love it.

But I felt old. And I know I'm not old. Actually I'm a baby. Just turned 7 months old yesterday. Not really. But the point is, I felt incredibly out of place at the party. Except I wasn't drunk enough to convince myself that I was a freshman again, and I wasn't sober enough to stand back and judge everyone (though that's no fun anyways). So I danced a lot. And put my butt on some people, and did a couple of fist pumps in beat with the pounding music. There were a lot of people who were making out, including this freshman girl who made the rounds. Seriously, every time I saw her, she was snogging a different dude. I stared at her awkwardly for a while until I realized that that was basically me my freshman year. And then I just sighed a wise old sigh about my wasted youth.

In other news, I discovered this in the online slang dictionary:

zoom-in Featured Word

noun

1. an unexpected and usually undesirable kiss.

She pulled a zoom-in on me last night.


word.

Parking tickets

Hello, universe.

I hate parking tickets and I hate towing companies and I hate parking problems.

Don't worry, I didn't get towed, I just get mad when I think about people towing cars. Unless of course it's really necessary. But there was this a-hole guy who lived in my building last year who would tow someone at least once a week for parking in his spot even if there was another spot available, even if the spot available was the one that everyone in the building knew was the extra spot that was available to anyone anytime. And so once I thought about towing him from his own spot just so he knew how it felt and that maybe he wouldn't do it again but I decided that it would be unethical and that it would be on my Hell Tally which I have thought up in my head, which is something that will happen if there is an afterlife and if I'm accepted into any part of it. What I am afraid will happen is that when it is being decided where I will go, heaven or hell or somewhere else, the decision will be made based on all the significant mean/vile things I've done/said/thought in my life and then I'll have to relive all the crappy things I've thought/done/said.

But today is Thursday. Which means I will go to Murphy's after rehearsal and eye inappropriate potential sexual partners and not talk to anyone I find attractive but think things about them as I walk by on my way to the bathroom.

Bye!!

PS I love Laurie Carlos and everything she stands for, most of which I'm sure I am still unaware of.

Amy

i'm really tired. but i really like my classes a lot, so that's nice. i can't decide which is my fav though -- phonetics, french, or jewish storytelling?

in the latter, we spent today's class comparing joseph (of the colorful coat -- technicolor, if you will) to harry potter. they're pretty similar dudes, actually.

but they're all incredibly excellent. it's a nice predicament to have.

more later.

I don't know if I'm having a lot of feelings or if I don't have any feelings at all. Probably I just have the normal amount of feelings. That's usually what happens.

Recently, Amy and I discovered that we both decide how we're supposed to feel about something and then feel that way, even if it's not how we would approach it otherwise. For example, I had dinner with someone tonight and I wasn't really nervous but I felt like I was supposed to be so then I was. But then I stopped being pretend nervous and, turns out, I was actually nervous!

It's all very confusing, actually. But that's what's in my brain right now. Oy.

Jameequa

I get to go to school tomorrow, la la la.

Reunited and it feels so good!

Hello!

Annah and Amy are both home now and it is such a great thing. Also, yes.

That's all for now. My bedroom is purple now, and not Eleni's anymore. OLD KARMA OUT, NEW KARMA IN!

Also, rganders and I are bff and I like it.

Love love.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I LIVE HERE!

Hello, I live in your apartment, Annah and Kinzie! Yeah, I do!

And there is a sidewalk being built outside. Right this very moment. And we might put our handprints in the wet cement but we don't know when the cement will dry. Or we could put something else in there, what could we put in there? Maybe a dollar. Or a photo of Sam Shepard.

Anyway, this is going to be the best year yet. I just know it. Annah, why aren't you here yet? Oh, yes. Because you are a career woman. Hum dee do.

Here are my goals for this year:

Do my Abs of Steel 2 workout tape 5 times weekly
Be a good waitress at Siam Terrace
Be a good student at the University of Illinois
Write a lot
Read books sometimes

Here are my priorities this year:

Shaking my ass to good music
Seeing my friends
Writing some words

Gotta go, I'm painting my rooooom!

Turns out

A good ol' chatty watty on the telly with a certain alipman2 is all I needed to feel better. I'm deangstified now. Next year, I will only need to enter the bathroom of angst to chill out but, for now, I've got more primitive (and more effective?) measures to resort to.

Tonight, I listened to Pretty Isabella music and reminisced. It was cool being in a band. Maybe again some day. Though I didn't accomplish my summer goal of learning to play the ukulele well. Plans change.

I need to pack.

kad;flkdjsfal;dfjk,
Kinzie

Angst

I thought I could handle it but I think I can't. So now I'm being dumb about it. That's all.

i have to pack up my summer existence today. it's pretty stressful. then i have to live out of a suitcase until i come home. home in a week and a day! i'm so excited!

nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh

I'm just sitting in my room listening to some music, eating M&M's and looking out the windowwwww.

I'm used to saying "I can't believe it's over" but I can believe that my internship is over, because it did exactly what it was supposed to do. I met some really great people and I learned what I want to do and what I don't want to do with theatre, and I developed some new literary obsessions. They include Lorraine Hansberry (which started my sophomore year of high school but has now reached new heights after reading To Be Young, Gifted and Black) and then there's David Mamet, and I can't talk about that right now because I might get too excited.

Goodbye to you soon, Louisville. You have treated me well. Hopefully I'll be back someday. There are too many good bands coming to play in your area for me not to.

Plus there's Glengarry Glen Ross and nothing can keep me away from that.

Some Thoughts: Heteronormatives and Political Labels as Told to an Eight Year Old by Kinzie

I love my nanny kids more and more every day. Though I had a really awkward conversation with Rachel (the 8 year old) about who I was going to vote for in the election. I think they're republican. A news story came on about VP possibilities and she asked me about the party system. So I got into this long winded explanation about picking the best person regardless of their label and labels are bad and blah blah blah and she was like, "So, who are you voting for?" Dead end. So I sheepishly was like, "Probably Obama" [only sheepishly because I don't want the family to fire me] and she was like, "Oh. My mom can't decide who she will vote for. She likes McCain and Obama and she doesn't like them both, sometimes. They're equal. And my dad doesn't want to tell anyone who he's voting for." But obvi, they're Republican (and I think they're Zionists too) because they have all these conservative books and these pictures of the dad in a restaurant posing next to George Bush I and things like that. So anyways. After that vaguely awkward conversation ended, Rachel was silent for a minute and then asked "What does the rainbow on your bracelet stand for?" ........ "Well, Rachel, do you know about gay people? They're people who love each other even if they're the same sex. Like, you know, men who love men and women who love women. Because, what if you really loved someone, or wanted to vote for someone, but you couldn't because they're the wrong thing? That would be silly, wouldn't it?" The hole just kept getting deeper and deeper.

Anyways, things are good. It was a nice conversation and I'm glad I had it. Maybe I can convert this eight year old to my liberal hippy ideals and she'll turn gay or something. I mean, don't hold your breath, but I'm just saying... Two weeks is a lot of time, right?

I'm also excited to come home to my apartment and my roommates. Instead of the ones here. Kris is great. It's just all the opera. It's getting to me. Last night they were practicing vowel sounds for an hour. One would think I would be happy, enthused even, to be hearing vowel sounds. That's my deal, right? But, no. Not from these people. Not at all.

Breaking news

Maybe I want to be an English professor?

Really, Louisville?

Hello.

I am still in Kentucky. It has its charms. Here's what I like:

1. Amy, Adrien, and Julie of the Actors Theatre literary department.
2. This salad at this restaurant I go to sometimes.
3. Sunergos.
4. The Unique Thrift Store.
5. Driving back from The Unique Thrift Store and seeing the Muhammad Ali Museum.
6. Disc golf.
7. Central Park (not the one from New York).
8. The incredibly beautiful Cherokee Park.
9. Victorian houses in the Old Louisville area.
10. The concert on top of the Glassworks Museum.
11. Adam-and-friends.
12. Sweet hangouts with Damir.
13. Frankfort Avenue.
14. Bardstown Road.

So, there's a lot to appreciate. But there's also a severe lack of class. I've been hit on (in serial-killer-like ways), shouted at from inside of a moving vehicle, and almost peed on several times since I have arrived. But maybe it's just because I'm really attractive. (Not.) Also, I miss having girl friends that I can hang around with and laugh with and do stupid things with. But I sure have met some really, truly great people.

Love,
Me

Russian and West European Women, 1860-1939: Dreams, Struggles, and Nightmares

The title of this entry is a source for a paper I wrote about my character from The Seagull for LDix. Anyways.

I have not moved from the couch I'm sitting on. Today is my day of rest. Except I'm about to do Pilates™. Because I have been a lazy bum all summer and literally haven't done an inch of exercise since the first week.

Also, I feel okay about having a lazy day because tomorrow I'm going to be working from 7 am til 6 pm. And again the next day. And on Friday. But I have the weekend off. That's nice. I am looking forward to activities Max and I have planned for Saturday, though I might need to sleep in first. And then a full week of 11 hour days.

This is such a flaky post. Alas.

Initially, there were some issues with roommates in my sublet. Things are going alright now though, so I guess I won't complain about that here.

I have officially become a total hippy-dippy. Oops. The thing is, it's not awful. I just think more about my thoughts and feelings than I did before. If that's even possible. There are worse things. Right?

In other news, I'm coming home in less than a month. I have mixed feelings about that. My schedule is great, though I'd just rather not. OK. Things I'm excited about for Fall '08. Ready, set, go:

1) I'm not in a Krannert show --> less bullshit.
2) Sunday dinnerz.
3) Global Inequalities and Social Change (it's a great class. AND a GenEd. What could be better?)
4) Being in choir.
5) Living in 712 with Annah and Amy.
6) Having Ana across the street. And she's renting from Mr. Butz, who lives next door to my gramma. He's 80 something and still water skis.
7) Hanging out with CCorn some more. Turns out he's a cool dude.
8) Not to be a copy cat but: BOXED WINE.
9) Pilates and Abs of Steel.
10) Farmers Market.

Kthxbye.

almost leaving louisville

Hello. I have a mere two weeks left at Actors Theatre. I'm pretty freaked out. I don't know if I've really made the world's greatest impression upon the brilliant women of the literary department. However, I can usually come up with a good story or something to fill the silence.

Speaking of silence, that office is too quiet. I wish I could see what it's like there during Humana. What an exciting time that must be. I also think it would be so crazy if one of the scripts I've read this summer ended up in Humana. That is pretty unlikely, but it would be awesome.

I do want to go back to see Glengarry Glen Ross. So I will.

I don't know. Basically I just think that the people who run the literary department are so unique and dynamic and I wish I could be like each of them in some way. Maybe one day I will be. I wonder what I will be like when I am a real adult with a real job. But working at this theatre sort of reminds me how hard it is to

A. Get a job at a good theatre (it sort of seems like you just need to know a lot of people, and have good timing, and whatnot...and I hope I have that)
B. Be a playwright

And I want to do both of those things.

Things I'll miss about Louisville:

1. The strangeness of it
2. The beautiful parks
3. The winding roads
4. Dairy Kastle
5. The Victorian houses in Old Louisville
6. Cherokee Park
7. St. James court

And some other stuff, too. I hope I've grown here. I really hope that, most of all. I just think it's too early to tell. It's been too fast. Much too fast. But also, when I think about another few weeks of sitting in my grey cubicle under the florescent light, it makes my brain melt. I lose brain activity when I'm in there, unless we're listening to everyone at Actors talk about how they got there. It's just so exciting to me. But when I'm sitting in a cubicle, and it's silent, it makes me miss atmospheres where everyone's on top of each other and it's noisy and chaotic and I can concentrate more and make more interesting points/discoveries when I write, or when I read, or when I write about reading a play, or whatever. I really just don't like the atmosphere there, even though I like the people. And I like the people so much that I wish they were there more, even though I know it's important to go to a bunch of summer festivals and all.

I know this wasn't too exciting. But I have so many mixed feelings about leaving here, and everything, that it's sad/also exciting, because school will be great.

Stuff i'm excited about for U of I:

1. Moving into 712
2. Murphy's
3. Starting a band with Isaac
4. LAURIE CARLOS
5. Classes
6. Valleri Hohman
7. Other people I like
8. Sunday dinner
9. Boxed wine

I'll post soon. Shit's goin' down. In the my roommates in boston aren't as good as the other ones i have kind of way. Also, my dad is visiting S-ville and I couldn't be more pleased.

I have Uni High madrigals songs stuck in my head.

On Sunday, Max and Christina (Max's friend from school) and I went to the beach. The Singing Sand Beach. It was a great thing. We played in the water. We built a sand castle whilst discussing the finer points of Neo-Liberalism. We scuffed around and heard the sand squeal beneath our feet. It wasn't very melodic but it was still pretty sweet. I got a bit of a sunburn which, admittedly, I was intending to do. I know that skin cancer exists and that it's a bad thing, but I also like having a bit of a tan. What a predicament.

Annah can't come down and visit when I'm home for a few days. This makes me (and her) a sad pup. Life moves on, I know. But I want to whine about it for a mo'.

Last night, several of us discussed our first kisses. I just found out that the boy who was my first kiss is now married and has a baby girl on the way. WHAT?!? THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. I mean, it couldn't have been. Because I barely let him touch my boobs and he burped in my mouth after eating a cheeseburger and he said I love you and I replied with "Thanks." So, obvi that couldn't have been me. But still. What if it was/were/was?

I am going to New York tomorrow to play with my mom, who will also be in NY. So that's nice. Except I'm waking up in 5 hours. And I still haven't packed. No surprise there. Hopefully we'll see In the Heights, but I bet everyone and their mom (ha) is going to want to see it now that it's all "the best musical" and other shit like that. Lame. Maybe I'll sit in the front row again and Luis Salgado will wink at me and recognize me again at the flower shop the next night. One can only hope...

my dream last night

we were in greys anatomy (but not as actors-- we were real surgeons) and lisa dixon was our boss and there was someone who had to have open heart surgery so we poked some holes and they squirted out liquid but then they died. but we had to stay busy or lisa would get mad at us. there was some guy doing something and he gave out free food. but i wasn't invited so i was a stowaway with jake szczep. under a blanket. the painful light show was really hurting (it was stinging us like fireworks that hit our skin) so jake and i hid under the blanket. there was someone else there but i don't remember who. then the bus driver dropped everyone off at the camp fire party which was all of a sudden in champaign urbana and i didn't want to go. i wasn't supposed to be there so if i didn't go, i wouldn't get caught. so he let me use his weird phone (it was headphones with some numbers on them) to call my mom but her voice mail was a really long thing about campers who hadn't enrolled yet. turns out i called my own phone. then i called her phone. and then shotzee (my dog) appeared in puppet form. then i got to go home. the bus driver was nice. he was like pete, our landlord.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!

It all started when Amy posted this on my wall:
I only wish that you and Annah could be here with me so that we could record a terrible video and post it on our blog like we did for your birthday.

Albeit Annah's non-presence, we still accomplished this goal. "From a distanceeeeee." (And, Annah, you're always with us. You're... omnipresent or something.)

So, one awkward-right-at-midnight video coming to you from Somerville and Louisville:



the rest of it goes:
Me: Boston doesn't really know you but if Boston knew you, Boston would like you.
Amy: Okay. I have to go now.

Turns out I make funny faces when talking on the phone and look really confused sometimes. Why is her voice coming out of this little thing? Is she IN the phone?!? Anyways. I'll have to work on that.

Happy birthday, dude!

bloggy blog blog

Tonight I shared a spicy dinner (spicy convo and spicy Thai food -- ooh, BUST!) with Michelle and her bf Tim. There was literally nothing to be nervous about. Except that, like, I basically only know Michelle through her blog. Mostly. I fully anticipated that it would be like when she met Ken Jennings. Or like an awkward first date that was a blind date but you knew the guys name so you looked him up on facebook so not only do you know that he works at a burrito joint but he also likes the Red Hot Chili Peppers. GREAT. Now you have nothing to talk about.

Luckily, we did not have this problem. So, you know, phew.

But THEN there's the issue of blogging about it. What if the event was absolutely life changing and caused a ton of epiphs for you. So, naturally you're gonna go home and blog about it.

But what if it didn't matter to her/you're just a dot on her radar/she'll forget by tomorrow that you even existed. And she doesn't even mention it in her blog.

I mean, you never know... It's not like I'm letting this affect me. Because I'm blogging about it now anyways. BUT WHAT IF??!?!?

Good thing I don't over-analyze things. Ever.

Erm, anyways.

Today Alexander (my 3 1/2 year old) told me all about the tortoises that live on the Galapagos Islands. Except he called them the "dordises dat wiv on de Molappamos Ilan." Apparently there are a lot of them. I told him that Alison (my friend, not their mom) studied on the Galapagos Islands and he told me that I was silly because "she's not a tortoise or a bird or a sea lion or a shark or a iguana or a fish so she didn't live there. Because only those animals live there."

My bad, Alexander. My bad.

[Except I'm actually really awkward because I definitely linked to her journal not once but twice. I should probably get a life.]

Mikko Kivisto, everyone

I know it wouldn't come to love, my heroine pretend

Last night, I had a dream that Dr. Graves was murdering people, and so all of the theatre faculty decided to move classes outside of Krannert into tents so that it would be harder for him to murder people since he wouldn't know where to look. As it got worse and worse, Tom Mitchell became the detective, and I think that somehow I was trying to help, but he told me to save myself, and to go live in a tent.

I'm not kidding.

This morning I had pancakes, as it is Sunday (Pancake Day). Then I went to the grocery store. I saw the cutest kid ever, and he was pretty precocious, but I thought it was cute. I guess not everyone did.

CASHIER: (Wrinkles nose, and I grow nervous, thinking it is aimed toward me) I'm NEVER getting pregnant.

BAGGER: You probably ARE pregnant and you just don't KNOW it.


I couldn't find anything I needed there except for the blueberries and nectarines, so I went to the other grocery store. The selection of spinach was disappointing, and I circled and circled that store looking for all the other stuff I needed. Finally I went to the self-checkout and this man next to me who was also trying to do the self-checkout was growing more and more agitated.

SELF-CHECK LADY'S VOICE: Please place your item in the bag.

MAN: I did, lady!

VOICE: Please place your item in the bag.

MAN: We are in a fight!

VOICE: Do you have any coupons?

MAN: Why do you always have to know EVERYTHING?! You're always on my case! (To me) I hope you don't run into anyone else as crazy as me today.


But I understood. I was having troubles of my own. It wouldn't scan my pita bread. My life is so hard. Now I'm re-writing my David Mamet article. He is nuts.

I wish Murphy were here.

Love,
Amy

Summer lovin' in Somerville...

Except not that kind. Not lovin' lovin'. Just, more, I'm in love here. With the city. And the people. And the T. And the live music that was happening outside of J.P. Licks in Davis Square. Even though they didn't want to hire me. Their loss.

I don't think I ever want to leave.* If I could root up select parts (i.e. people) of my CU life, I wouldn't ever have to go back there and I wouldn't ever have to leave here. I love my schedule. And I love love love the kids I'm taking care of. They are the best. Alex listed all the people he loved and I am on that list already. Boo yah.

Tomorrow we're going on vacay. To a beach house. I'm getting all my meals payed for, a place to stay, and extra money. Just to hang out with some awesome kids and chill on the beach. Life is good.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

*except I miss you guys...

Sitting on the couch

So, I'm in Louisville. Work is going ok. The people at the theatre think I'm really strange, so I guess I'll have to stop talking. Or something. I'm not over exaggerating. But maybe I really do need to tone it down. For instance, we were talking about presidents, and I said that I own a small bust of George Washington, and then everyone pretty much cleared out of the meeting. I didn't think it was that weird, but I was watching this episode of Will and Grace this morning while eating pancakes (at least I'll always have pancakes) in which Grace was on a date with this man who just threw weird stuff like that out there, and I felt uncomfortable even though it was TV. So maybe that's what I do to people.

If it weren't for Adam and Damir, I'd be S.O.L. as far as people who like doing stuff that I do, such as sitting at this bar in the middle of a neighborhood called Germantown. All the time.

And I've had a lot of epiphs about what it is that I want to do with theatre. And about why I'm not a playwright yet.

And I've always wanted to go somewhere new and do something I was interested in, and be on my own but still have a couple of peeps to hang out with, so that is what this summer is. I can't wait to see you guys in the fall.

Love,
Me

I think if I were in high school again, I would have loved tonight. Like, love loved. I spent tonight hanging out with four gay boys who quote musical theatre and talk about who made out with whom and OMG I LOVE hannah montana.

I might die.

I'm kidding, of course. I will survive this summer and my living situation. But maybe just barely. There are only so many jazz hands I can handle.

In other news, I am going to New York Cityyyy tomorrow. So that's nice. I'm visiting Hillary for a few hours, sleeping, eating lunch with her in the building where they filmed Sex and the City* (which is also where she works), and coming back home. But for 30 bucks, that's fine. And it will be great to see her once more before she runs off to ... somewhere.

Plus, I got a job. A weekend nanny job. Now I just need something during the week to occupy myself. Because my friends are all working M-F 9-5 jobs and I will be lonely. And I'll go stir crazy. But at least I'll have some sweet dough.

*Maybe I'll be in the same elevator as SJP was in. OMGZ LOL!!1!!!111!!!!eleven!!1

Addendum:

Hen may refer to:
* Hen, a female bird, a female of any member of the bird family, including species of poultry, duck, fowl, ostrich or emu.
* Hen, specifically a female adult chicken
* Hen, a female octopus or lobster
* Hen (slang), a woman
* Hen, Buskerud in Ringerike municipality, Buskerud, Norway
* Hen, Møre og Romsdal in Rauma municipality, Møre og Romsdal, Norway
* Hen (manga), a manga created by Hiroya Oku
* H.E.N; or Homebrew Enabler; a community mod for PSP
* Hendon railway station, England; National Rail station code HEN

Who knew?

(Thanks, Mr. Wiki.)

craigslist = sketchy...

... and really really good.

The thing is, I may or may not have posted a "missed connections" on craigslist last night. Er, two nights ago. That's what I meant.

Nothing has come of it, but it would have been nice if it did. Because I met this manboyman named Ben when I was an hour early for my nanny interview. And we walked around for an hour and went into Whole Foods and a CVS and it was vaguely magical (I know, I know... But it was! Or something... Connected?). Anyways, as soon as he walked away, I regretted not giving him my phone number. Not even for anything, just to... continue talking. I mean, if more happened, I wouldn't push it away. Obvi. But that's all I wanted was a continued conversation. Right.

Aaaaanyways, I figured nothing would happen, and nothing did but I can't help but feeling a tidge disappointed. A connection's a connection, no matter how small. (Anyone?) It would have been a neat thing. But that's what Boston is about for me. Meeting new people, making connections, having experiences. So it's fine. In the name of adventure and new experiences and self discovery whilst in a new city and not near my family.

In other news, my mom is facebook friends with:
([female adult chicken]+[male human offspring])+[things that unlock doors].
Gross.

And here's an impression of his wall-to-wall with our fave
[letter before k in both the alphabet and on the keyboard]+[abbrev. for gastro-oesophageal reflux disease]+[s]:

"i'm really great"
"oh, i'm really great too"
"oh, great"
"hamlet?"
"oh, okay. hamlet."
"oh, me too!"
"wow. you're really great."
"so are you."
"oh, thanks."
"yeah, just stay skinny."
"oh yeah, you too."
"let's go to the gym and pump some iron!"
"kthxbye."

I'm gonna go stand over there now...

I have ALSO arrived

Even though I got here a month ago.

I really love working at Steppenwolf. And on Monday I am going to play softball in the Chicago Theatre Softball League. I will lead the Steppenwolf team to victory. Apparently Lookingglass is the only team that they have ever beat. I fully intend to change that.

I don't really like living in Deerf. It is just too far from everything.

I'm kinda sweaty.

I share a desk with 2 people who go/went to Harvard.

I wrote five times in a row on Amy's wall. And she didn't respond in between. Not even once.

That is all.

Fancy meeting you here...

Oh, hello. I, too, have arrived. It's pretty splendid here, in Boston. Actually Somerville but Max keeps arguing that it's all part of Boston. I am planning on biking around intensely tomorrow to discover where things are, and then talking to people about getting a job. So yes.

Love love.

LOUISVILLE

I have arrived. Hello.

1. My apartment is huge and lovely and great, hardwood floors and lots of space and a tiny little kitchen and an ugly couch.
2. I know where the grocery store is
3. I met Emily, my co-dramaturgy/literary management intern. I liked her shirt.
4. My mom and I are getting ready to go have dinner. Byyyyye!

I can't stop watching Grey's Anatomy.

In other news, the family reunion was so much fun. Lots of saucy women and dudes with drawls. And a lot of fatty food.

Yesterday I worked stagehand load-in and load-out for Tim McGraw in Chicago. Lots of money, and weirdly: the people I was working with reminded me a lot of the people at the reunion. Minus the women. Of 100+ people working there, I was one of 4 chicks. Pretty sweet. And people complimented me on my rockin' muscles and pure strength. I told them to do Pilates.

Allllll Byyyyy Myyyyseelllf

Observations about Michal (aka Meehow), the Polish guy living in Annah's room for the summer:

1) He rarely turns on lights.
2) He often plays Britney Spears and other like artists
3) Usually, when he's playing these songs, he's dancing around his room.
4) Right now he's on top of the bed. Just standing. Holding a flag. From an unknown country. Probably Poland.
5) He makes really good scrambled eggs with sprouts in them.
6) He's planning on making a smoothie with raspberry tea, mango, and a little bit of vanilla.
7) He has been talking about making said smoothie for 3 days now. And still hasn't made it.
8) He practices his runway walk sometimes. But he claims he has never modeled.
9) Whenever I get home, I say "Hello" and he goes "Hello, Kinzie." Every time.
10) He makes thumbs up signs a lot.

I think we're gonna be friends.

cut off all the ropes and let me fall, my my my

the end of the year sure does happen, doesn't it?

interesting moments as of late:

1. The greatness of Jan
2. sitting at Hot Wok on University with Mike, eating a pice of his broccoli, feeling sort of sad that I had no idea what he was talking about and that he didn't know really what I was talking about, either, as we were essentially trying to describe ourselves while alluding to the fact that we weren't even though we were.
3. making Mike laugh really hard while he was trying to pick out guitar strings and feeling a huge sense of accomplishment
4. the song "skinny love"
5. my eternal angst that Annah described as actually sort of fun sometimes
6. eating a lot of chocolate
7. the alternate universe of the German party alongside some of the best peeps in the world who went with me
8. having Madonick purchase a round of Bourbon for the class and being the first to down it while all the boys sucked and I was triumphant
9. hilarious moments at Siam Terrace where I laugh for an inappropriate amount of time
10. the flowers in the glass at Espresso

I wish I were in a rock and roll band. And I am sad that I have to paint my walls because I think that the red one should stay red since it has caught the attention of passersby.

I'm not sure how much more honest I can be. Really, I just want the chance to be affectionate with someone again, someone to relax/cut loose with these last couple of stressful weeks up here.

I'm not after sex. Just hanging out, maybe some making out if we get comfortable with each other. A nice release, y'know?

Your picture gets mine. Send me an email if you're interested. I'll treat you right.
---------


Oh craigslist... So much angst.

In other news, I had a private Grey's Anatomy marathon last night until around 5 am. Oops.

There were a lot of fire trucks and police cars outside last night from about 3-4 am. There were a lot of lights. Yep.

Kthxbye.

i'm maybe rmore drunk than i've bene in a long time. or ever.
but that's what i maybe say every time.
oops.
girls night ruins people. it's called a bottle of wine, kinzie. gt used to drinking it.
actually, that was fine. it was the shot. and then the berr that did me in.
waht a terrible idea, it is, to post this. oops.
wine wine wine. girls night.

Uninteresting Musings

So the Laurie Carlos cast list is up and at 'em. I can't wait. It's going to be great.

I love my new running shoes. I have never had such neat gym shoes before, I feel like I'm the coolest kid in gym class in third grade.

I am going to grow my hair out all this summer and then dye it red.

Things I like right now:

Spinach
Hard boiled eggs
The drawings on boxes of Tea

Things I want right now:

For people to burn me mix CD's because I need new music

I just gots to finish this group project, the play, scholarship applications, and then I will have loads of time to mooch around, studying and hooting and hollering and working at the Thai restauranttttt.

By the way, one of the waitresses told me that

"Someone in the kitchen is...like you."
So I guess that means that I am
A. Very similar to the burly, international kitchen staff at Siam Terrace, or
B. That someone thinks it is attractive when I walk into the kitchen, almost slip, and then throw silverware into the little tub of nasty silverware chunks-of-food water and get the water all over the place and then slyly take off.

It is 5:11. I have to be back at The Institution (Krannert, obvi) in 49 minutes. I'm sick of how predictable it is. Do I have to go see Hamlet? (Yes.) Oh, okay. If you insist...

I might eat all of Annah's soy hot dogs. I'm a fan.

Currently, I'm reading a book for fun. Water for Elephants. Ever heard of it? I'm liking it so far except it's blatantly obvious that the main character, though a man, was written by a woman. Because he says funny things about peens that I notice and you notice, but I feel like men don't notice. Or maybe they do. But it's also clear that the woman who wrote it is not 93 like the protagonist. Oh well.

I have a huge craving to play Dar Williams on my ukulele. But I left it at Ron's house. Oops.

Peace out, mofos.

EARRRRRRRRRTHQUAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.
5.4 on the scale.
Ridiculous.

A well thought out research paper by Kinzie Cornell.
(Oh wait, I don't know how to do one of those... Wah wahhhh.)

I have an awkward sunburn consisting of a little patch on the back of my neck, a patch on my left ankle, and the top of my right hand. I don't get it but it's a bit uncomfortable. Not to mention funny looking.

George Sand's autobiography, comprised of a bunch of letters she wrote some peeps, mostly her mom, is entitled: "Story of My Life." Terrible. And so so good.

One of Jackye's friends is at Paradiso right now too. But I only know her because of how much I've facebook creeped Jackye. I'm a bit of a sad pup. But it's wasted energy, I suppose. Ah well.

I like my green pen from the deaf guy that was used by the crazy ladies at Panera on Monday. Is it weird that that's what's keeping me going? I guess that's the story of my life. HA. Oops. Nice work, Kinzie.

I am stressing about subletting, which is funny because I actually found someone. Problems and feelings. That's what I got goin' on.

I'm going to eat a grapple now.

I regretfully admit that Alfred Jarry has caused me to LOL.

He's actually pretty funny. Perhaps for my paper, I can do a compare/contrast of Alfred Jarry and Alf and their iconic influences/similar appearances.

just the tip of tips.

Last night I dreamed that Tom Mitchell came to hang out with us but I was taking a nap and so I woke up and was wearing a sun dress and he said, "Kinzie, that's inappropriate for the weather" and I said, "Silly Tom, it's 60 outside!" and he said, "Yes, Kinzie, I know. But it's also snowing." And then I looked out the window and there was half a foot of snow on the ground and it was still going strong. So I told Eleni that it didn't matter; I would just wear my pink snow boots -- they match my dress anyways!

Yep.

I have a paper to write. Oops. Wine to the rescue!

ALFRED JARRY IS BAD.

I hate Alfred Jarry. He's gross and stupid. And I'm writing a ten-page paper on him. Bye!!

b-b-b-bitchin'

AaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhIhadtoworklastnightandIhavetoworktonightandIamscrewwwwwwwwwwed!!

And I wasted time yesterdaygettingbooksfromthestacksaboutGertrudeStein and then realized thatmythesiswouldn'twork because some assholehadalreadycheckedthebooksoutthatIwanted

andsonow

I am writing about ALRED JARRY who is NUTS. and I am trying to
FIGUREOUTHOWTO FIXTHEFOOTNOTES FOR VAL'S PAPER BECAUSE I DON'T-

oh who cares.

Love,

Amy

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

Actually, this is our 99th post. Next will be 100. And obvi, when you say 99, you have to sing. No? Oh, okay.

I really wish I were still in New York. I am weirdly enamored with the city. Maybe not weirdly. It's not like I have a stalkerish crush on it. But I really want to be there and not in CU and not in Chicago. Maybe someday.

I also really need to be writing/reading about George Sand. But so what if she smoked cigars? [Well, okay, that is pretty sweet.] I want to be done with this year more than I can possibly explain. At least I'm not alone in this feeling because I know for a fact that Annah feels similarly, and probably Amy does too. And the rest of the world, I'm sure. Why wouldn't they?

I was reading Cosmopolitan this weekend and there was this girl who was complaining, "I loathe when people call dinner dins--as in "Let's have dins at my place." I can deal with totes for totally and obvs for obviously, but dins? It's so annoying."

<---Really?

Some things.

Three things I am happy about:
1) We are having a Father of the Bride marathon.
2) I have seen three Broadway shows, none of which have been disappointing. And two of which were incredible. And I spent a total of 80 dollars on them. Combined.
3) It has barely rained here. Only once did it rain and it was on the way home from a bar at 12:30. So we were pleasant.


Three things I could live without:
1) The cold weather and the wind today. Gross.
2) My incredible hangover headache that is still here at 7:15 pm.
3) Leaving tomorrow. Really, I just want to stay here and not worry about my paper. What a tragedy.

And scene.



EDIT: I just ran into my favorite dancer from In the Heights. And he's beautiful and talented and we talked for a long time while I was buying flowers for the peeps I'm staying with. So nice. And attractive. Oh man.

Challah is baking in the oven

I am baking challah. As we speak.

I feel a little skanky from the other night.

I am so freaking elated about interning at Steppenwolf this summer. Jon Hill said he would come visit me.

Last night Eleni was the drunkest I've seen her in a while and I was happy for her. She opened the door of a cab that was stopped at a red light on Green Street. It was a "Freedom Cab" so as soon as she opened it she yelled "Freeeeedddooooommmm" a bunch of times.

I am excited to see showcase on Monday, even if it is a little bad and nobody comes. I am also excited for my coffee date with Lynn.

I am also excited that I finished Valleri's paper--1 down 2 to go. And that I have decided to write my African American Studies final paper on the August Wilson/Robert Brustein debate which I have always wanted to read more about anyway.

Richard Schecher can suck my dick.

I hope the challah doesn't suck. I might bring a loaf to Rons. Maybe I can be "Jewish Mother Barbie". That actually might be a little funny. Or maybe I'll just wear something pink.

Today Today

Today is Murphy Lipman's birthday. He is 12. it is his golden birthday. Hooray!!

1. My stomach hates me. It is jittery and weird.
2. I wish I were better at writing papers. But I am on page 6 of Valleri's, and it's not great, but I think that I have some moments within it that I can expand on.
3. "Mouthful of Birds" had some really good moments in it. I am proud of my roommate. She is good.

Things to do before the end of the year:

1. Play "Apples to Apples"
2. Revise play, have reading of play
3. Make dinner for Iris (right?)

Things I plan to do in Naperville the second half of May and first half of August:

1. Hang out at the library
2. Bake cookies
3. Start a book club with Bobbie and Jeff Lipman in which we will have scholarly family discussions and I administer pop quizzes to see if they've read the book while said members of family are trying to do legitimate activities, such as paying taxes or my credit card bill or refilling Murphy's dog dish


THEN I WILL GO TO LOUISVILLE!!

The Apple of my Eye

The poll. I don't know how to interpret it. Because 3 people voted. And more answers were chosen, a they should have been. Obviously some people cream-and-sugar. Personally ("For me, personally, what I do" -- Danny Mc), I add Splenda™ to my coffee. Though I usually get Soy Spanish Lattes anyways, so never mind. Yep.

New quiz: non-sexual fantasies. This has been a theme of my life these days. And what a good one. But some people don't get them. Waterfalls? No, Adam. I mean, maybe, but do these aforementioned waterfalls tap dance? Then maybe not...q

So New York, which is where I am now. I like it. A lot. I feel nice and independent. But not very nice. Dunno. Contradiction. Anyways, I'm a fan. And I had an epiphany. You know how in Champaign-Urbana, people are quaint and you smile at them when you pass? And you know how in cities (or really anywhere other than CU or Mahomet) you don't make eye contact? WELL, the exception to this rule: you can make eye contact with someone if they have a dog or a child. And you look at the dog/child first, and then at the owner/parent/adult. Then, and (generally) only then can you make eye contact with a stranger without seeming like a creep.

I'm gonna go get a dog and a kid. Peace out, mofos.

I really suck at blogging. Because blog is a made up word. As are all words, I guess.

So I am going to copy the format of one of Amy's posts. Because I have no original thoughts. No thoughts at all.

It is Wednesday. And I want...

1. To digest the food from the Wok that is in my belly.
2. To hear back from internships. And get one of them.
3. To go to Murphs tomorrow.
4. To finish this paper tonight. But not before looking at more pictures of naked people with funny nips. All in the name of research.
5. To have sex sometime in the near future.

Things I am grateful for:

1. Sunday sass with Cam.
2. Warmer weather.
3. That In the Blood is over. And how it went.
4. That my sister is coming here next year.
5. That my brother and his girlfriend are the Bill and Hillary of the track team at Deerfield High School.
6. Dada.
7. Luminous forms.
8. The "at least I'm not" game.

Thoughts.

-Annah

A scholarly post by Amy Lipman

OMGZ MINA LOY IS A CRAZY BITCH AND I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY.

From an article that Val gave me:

"Loy argues that women must 'Leave off looking to men to find out what you are not. Seek within yourself to find out what you are. As conditions at present are constituted you have the choice between Parasitism, Prostitution, or Negation.' Much of Loy's manifesto focuses on the social conditions of women, critiquing the institution of marriage as an economic transaction in which the bride exchanges her virginity for financial security. In order to do away with women's subjugation, Loy states that 'Woman must destroy in herself the desire to be loved' and calls for 'the unconditional surgical destruction of virginity throughout the female population at the age of puberty.' Although undoubtedly made mostly for their shock value, these statements also reflect (as would Marinetti's later manifesto) a quasi-Marxist reading of the institution of marriage in which economics and feminine virtue are linked through traditional notions of love."

-Mina Loy's Futurist Theatre by Julie Schmid

But who says that she made these statements for shock value? Who can be sure? Though she probably wouldn't be in favor of a violent or compulsory destruction of virginity...she clearly thinks that throwing away the connotative meaning of virginity would benefit society, and prevent women from relying on the exchange of virginity for love.

Jeez.

plaid shorts

Oh hello. So it's still Tuesday. And I want...
1. my papers to write themselves
2. to eat Papa Del's
3. to see Murphy
4. to go to Murphy's
5. to drink beer at Murphy's
6. for my leg to stop itching

Yes, everyone, it's another exciting day in the life of Amy Lipman.

I also want to be in a rock band. Isaac and I are starting one next year, so get ready, everyone.

I'm going to end this bad post by listing what I'm grateful for:

1. The Okkervil River concert in October
2. My heart-to-heart with Cam and Annah last Sunday
3. How "In The Blood" turned out
4. When Tom Mitchell came to see me read my paper at crappy Eastern
5. Alternative Spring Break in D.C.
6. Going to Great Harvest Bread Company on Fridays
7. The night that Kinzie and I sat on the kitchen floor and I told her about why I'm bad at therapy
8. The night that we rapped in the car
9. When Al made that really good cake
10. Adriana
11. My cousins
12. Good runs
13. Paint shop practicum
14. My guitar
15. My poetry class
16. Virginia
17. G-Rich
18. Nicole
19. Liz
20. My parents
21. The trip to Israel
22. Harry Potter movies
23. Opportunities

I have to say, witnessing a marriage proposal tonight was pretty sweet. I guess.

In other news, I consumed vodka tonight. And so far, so good. But we'll see. Jury's still out.

I just trimmed my toe nails. Before personal solitude, I would never have been capable of typing that on the World Wide Web. But, there, I did it. And I'm not even naked.

I have some things to do. Like, two of them.

I have a crush on the boy who works at the Apple store. But he still hasn't replied to my facebook message. Which is fine. I'm basically over it.

Fin.

AHHHHHHHH I HATE BUYING TICKETS ONLINE. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. THAT'S ALL.

(more later, maybs.)

An Unintentional (But Very Great) Pun

"Man, these scissor's really aren't working. They're just not cutting it."

BWAHAHAHA.

hey hey you you

So things are going pretty well. I discovered from reading the back of my pseudophedrine (Hard-core Sudafed) box that,

"While on this medication, if you feel sleepless, nervous, or dizzy, consult a doctor."

So I guess that explains why, since Sunday, I've been lying in my bed for 5 hours a night trying to fall asleep. I'm done with you, sinus pills.

In other news, I received a call on Monday evening. It went like this:

"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Abby?"
"Um, no. This is Amy, though. Yup."
"Oh, ok. Are you still looking for a job?"
"Yes."
"Oh, would you like to come in to talk about a job?"
"Oh, yes."
"Great."
...
"Sorry, who is this?"
"Oh, this is Eddie."
"Oh. Great."
"From Siam Terrace."
"OHHHHHH!"

So that should be nice. I LOVE Thai Food, and I love awkward interactions. He told me to make sure and call his cell though, before I get there, because he, "Might be outside, walking around" (?).

Here's hoping!!

le poisson d'avril

I don't know how to capitalize things in French. So I just don't, sometimes.

In France, April Fool's Day is called le poisson d'avril, meaning "the fish of April." April 1st used to be the first day of the new year until Charles IX came along. He changed it to 01/01 back in 1564. But some dudes decided to give gifts on April 1 anyways. So they gave fake gifts because they were cheap and didn't want to give expensive gifts TWICE. Apparently April is a month where there aren't good fish because the waters are cold and the fish are reproducing [side note: remember when the dolphins were having sex so I couldn't go swimming with them?], so one day, these aforementioned "dudes" decided to put a whole bunch of fresh fish in the water for the fishermen. And then they shouted out "April fish! April fish!"

Cool.

Today I made a bunch of terrible jokes about it being April Fool's Day. This is what happened. A lot.

Customer: Hello. I would like a medium house coffee.
Me: Oh. Sorry. We're out of coffee.
Looooong pause.
Me: Ha. ... Ha. Joke! Happy April Fool's Day! I got you!
Customer: (blank stare)... So, can I get my coffee?
Me: Yep. 1.84 please. Have a great day!
Customer: Good luck.
Me: Heh. Heh. I'll need it. Guess I should have some coffee before I try making jokes, huh?
Customer: Um. (walks away)

Unfortunately, that's not special to today. I make jokes like this all the time and usually my customers don't get it. My favorite these days has been the response to the question "Can I get a large house?"

Me: ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT A MANSION? Hahahahahahahaha!
Customer: silence or, if I'm real lucky, uncomfortable laughter
Me: Get it? Like, a large house would be a mansion? Or, like, a ... really really big house?
Customer: Oh.

There are approximately four customers who laugh at such jokes. Large Skim Latte™, Medium Skim Cap Lady™, Apple Fritter™, and Medium Coffee Of The Day™ are my personal fan club. It's pretty sweet, really.

Where the fuck did March go?

I lost March. I can't find it. Where'd it go?

In other news, the other night I had a dream in which I saved a cat from drowning and then performed CPR to save it. I know dreams are supposed to mean something, or let you know about your life, but I hope this one doesn't mean I want to make out with a cat or something.

Turns out it sucks when the cops make you pay 200 dollars because the music that you're not playing is too loud. But it could have been worse, so whatever...

Only one month and some odd days until this semester of hell is over. That's shitty, because it means everything I have left to do in this semester will all have to be squeezed into the next month. But that's good because then I won't have to deal with this shit anymore.

Happy happy love and rainbows,
Kinzie Louise (Louise is not my middle name. But that's what rganders2 called me the other day. Yep.)

EDIT: Oops, I forgot to talk about the poll. But it was boring. Duh Obama. (and one McCain? Meh.)

and all those other hoochie skanks, they ain't got shit on me

things i'm looking forward to:

1. the summer (even though i don't know what i'm doing)
2. isaac's pageant wagon
3. the party on friday
4. the brunch on saturday, at which i will present an inspirational speech
5. my poetry class's more-than-probable trip to Murphy's
6. finishing my carton of strawberries tomorrow
7. making chocolate chip pancakes in the near future
9. hearing about my mom's SPRING BREAK trip to europe
9. reuniting with my ASB group
10. playing my sold-out show at the catholic worker's house (...?)
11. IN THE BLOOD
12. MEASURE FOR MEASURE

things that are helping me through this angsty time i'm having:

1. horrible pop singles that i have been purchasing off of iTunes
2. when isaac does stupid things in paint shop practicum
3. when annah and kinzie make stupid faces at me in theatre history
4. when cameron says weird things
5. when iris drinks wine
6. when al laughs at how stupid some people are
7. shorts
8. the potential of an internship with the National Coalition for the Homeless
9. the potential of guerilla dramaturgy
10. the potential of ultimately ending up with someone who isn't lame

Mondays

Mondays are usually terrible days. This Monday is no different. People are grumpy and sad and having a lot of feelings. And we got our Theatre History midterm back which is all well and good except I don't understand things. But this negativity is not the point of my post.

BECAUSE. Oh, yes, because:

The schedule for next semester is posted. Fall '08. Best day of the semester. And the problem with that is the fact that I now want to do nothing but look at classes. Instead of homework. So that's what I'm gonna do.

In other news, Dominico, the crazy Italian guy from Tila Tequila, has his own MTV show. And I'm watching it.

And, the results of the survey:
Turns out working out at the gym and doing exercise videos are the most popular. Though I think Amy and I both voted. So maybe we're not actually that cool or popular.

Though I maintain, our readership is in the millions. Obvi.

Monday Monday

Oh, hello there.

I have just been sitting here editing some poetry and listening to the Amelie soundtrack and smelling the scent of this apple cinnamon candle.

I live a life of grandeur.

Anyway, really I should probably live in France or on an apple farm or something. And I've learned that I love theatre, I really do. And I want to be a dramaturg and a writer. But I think I'd also be happy if I were a bear who had to crouch by the stream all day to catch fish and roll around on the ground.

And also I think that in my present life as a human, it would be rather nice if I ended up as a literary manager or dramaturg at some fabulous urban theatre and also was a poet whose work was published all the time everywhere round the clock all the time every day.

And if I had a bicycle.


-Amy Elizabeth

last day to post, all you peeps out there. better get on that.

because i know our readership is in the millions. I KNOW IT!

UnOFficIal baby!!!!!!11!!1!!!!!!1

OMGHS i'm like toatally lwasted.

Oops. I lied. And I'm fine with that. Except there's nothing on television. I was seriously hoping for ANTM. Unfortunately, there's just Shows About God and some Infomercials that I Secretly Like but Usually Don't Admit to Liking. I'm actually watching one of those. It's about the Bunnigizer. Oop, and there's one called the "Hyper Bunny." Don't forget the "Love Vibes Big Boy" which is large and red and glittery. Oh, and the Icicles Twister. I think there's a dolphin on it, as the bunny ears part. Ha!

Dolphins are an inside joke with myself.

Doodly doo

So, Kinzie posted a lot of "I" statements so I'm going to as well.

1. If I were trapped on a desert island and could only have a few things, I would have

- Soy milk with which to make chai lattes
- Chai tea


That's all I care about right now because I'm drinking some Chai.
But anyway, I had a nice day today. As I am applying for summer internships, I received a letter of recommendation from Tom Mitchell, of whom if I were stuck on this island, I would need to think in order to lift my spirits. He basically said in his letter that even though I didn't win, my paper was better than the other kids' papers at the EIU research symposium, and that he thinks I'm funny.

And then, I got this paper back from my GWS professor and she went on and on about it on the back. I love when teachers write comments instead of just giving you a grade. She said that I was a "frighteningly good ethnographer," and that "if [I] don't become an anthropologist, [I] need to write a novel," so that made me feel really, really great.

And then I came home, and I was REALLY HUNGRY and so I ate a carrot (a large carrot, not multiple baby carrots) with some of that really good hummus from Strawberry Fields and then ate numerous other things but honestly the carrot was the best and now I sort of wish that I'd just eaten a bunch of carrots.

The End!

-Amy Elizabeth Lipman

Comme d'habitude...

So, life.

I thought I wanted to post but then it turns out I don't want to. But, since I've started it's almost more of an inconvenience to not post than to post. Briefly:

1) I'm disappointed that they canceled the Henry dress rehearsal. First of all, WHO DOES THAT? And second of all, when the answer is "Norma," I still want to know WHY? I'll still go because I'm in Measure and that's when we're let out to go, but ... oy.

2) I hate going to the gym. Turns out, this does not mean I hate working out. Who knew? (With an aspirated "w" and a liquid "u." i.e. "whu: nju:" if I could do justice to typing IPA.)

3) I want to do something with language and voice and be a dialect coach for actors. But I also sometimes look at actors and think how lovely it would be to do all things. So I just might. Really I don't know what to do with my life, but I'm also only 20 years old so that's okay. Sometimes I forget about that.

4) I kind of smell bad. So I might just take a shower. We'll see. Probably I will.

5) I just noticed that every item of my list starts with "I." Self-centered? Inwardly observant? My horoscope today says that if I believe that I deserve to be happy today, I will be. How nice. This has nothing to do with the other things I wrote about but still, it's kind of nice.

6) I I I I I I I.

And scene.

a tragedy:

Sometimes I have brilliant thoughts. And I want to post them. But Annah and Amy never post. So I feel lame posting consecutively tons and tons of times. We'll see. The basic solution would be that Annah and Amy would post more. But that ain't gonna happen, I think. Alas.

alllllllll byyyyyyyyy myyyyseeelllllffffffffffffff...

how appropriate...

also, i made a lot of hearts on my cappuccinos today. i was pleased. joanna said they looked nice. so, go me. i liked this valentine's day. it's really nice not to have to worry about anyone else. to be single and loving it at this point in my life, and to have a day that reaffirms my contentment. glorious, really.

lives.

Sheez!

I have two powerpoint presentations to create tonight. I don't know how I'll handle the intense amounts of joy brought to me by the fact that I'm actually making a powerpoint. And not just joking about them existing. Maybe I'll make a powerpoint about my feelings while I'm at it.

I've shaved my legs a few more times since that one day. How ... epic.

smooth-legs.ppt

EDIT: (3:13 am) I need to sleep some day. Fuckin' A.

I'M POSTING! I'M POSTING!

I haven't posted on this blog in centuries. I think the last time I posted was right after I was in the first Olympics ever.

In other news, I was selected to be one of those people on the admission brochures for U of I. They asked me all of these questions about my life and they might take a picture of me with a quote or something. Or I might be on the internet.

I like going to Improv night. It makes my throat hurt from laughing. Which I guess it good.

I made some really good chicken tonight. It was honey mustard and garlic chicken from the "Healthy College Cookbook" that I got for Channukkah. I wonder if I can keep using it once I'm out of college. There are three chicken breasts left. So I'm looking forward to that.

And abs of steel.

symbolic closure

Annah's was maybe better. Or, not better, but classier: Pomegranate Liquor. A pretty bottle with a hat on it that we could sip away and the final drop = closure.

But mine? The Art of Shaving: A Symposium by Kinzie Cornell

I got in the shower today. I did the usual stuff: shampoo, condition, wash my face, use my excellent ginko based body wash. As I went about my shower routine, I found myself sitting on the floor with shaving cream on my legs. I was shaving.

This isn't that phenomenal to the average Joe (Josephine?) but ... I haven't shaved since June. June, when I had my first real experience with a girl. After that day in June, I hadn't shaved my legs. And let me tell you, I had an impressive leg of hair. (Head of hair doesn't quite cut it.)

Anyways, my friend has been staying with me this weekend and this morning I woke up before he did. So then I went and took a shower and shaved my legs before I even realized it. And, I don't know. It was closure.

The end of an era.

Get over yourself, Kinzie.

Seriously, just go to sleep. Convince yourself you're tired. And go to sleep. Don't stay up any longer watching the weather channel and a special on crystal meth. GO TO SLEEP.

Oy vey.

Just the tip.

I was cleaning my room and on a lone piece of paper under my bed, I found the following:

"October 23, 2007 [side note: my birthday!]

"Dear Diary,

"Today, so many uninteresting things happened to me. I can't wait to tell you about them. First I saw a dog. Then, I went back to sleep for a few hours, and when I woke up it was eight o'clock at night. Oops. As soon as I woke, I saw the same dog. Maybe he likes me?"

This sheet of paper is clearly in the handwriting of none other than the alipman2 that we all know and love. That's all.

Uri Nation

Annah and I have been enjoying commercials lately. And then there are some bad ones. This is not a bad one. In fact, this is a brilliant one. I was so pleased. (:

Shut up.



No, seriously.

Crap

Hello, eveyone.

I don't know what to do with my life.

Summer internship application deadlines are approaching, and I haven't given serious thought to any of them. Whoops. The truth is that I think I want to go back to Israel this summer (I went over break) and volunteer on a kibbutz or something. You know, for life experience. I just...I want to do theatre as a career, and I'm still just as passionate about it as I was before, but I've seen other parts of the world that I am also now in love with, and I want to be there. And working in a kibbutz might not be the most intellectual activity (I'd probably be cooking and doing laundry and stuff) but I'd be in Israel and I could travel around on weekends and after work for 3 weeks while my room and board was paid for...and I've been looking into other international volunteer opportunities, not just at Israel.

Basically, I love theatre, but I have to know about more than just that. And I need to have more life experiences if I'm going to actually be a writer.

I've been writing some more poems, lately. That's good. I've also ordered "Abs of Steel 2" on VHS off of Amazon for $2.48 because that's an area of my life that I'm dissatisfied with. I think it might be due to the large amount of vanilla soy milk and honey and banana bread that I consume on a regular basis.

So really I just need to dramaturg "In The Blood," and write, and get better abs, and figure out what I'm doing this summer.

In other news, my boyfriend is glorious.

Epiphs

Oh goodness. This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. Brilliance.

It reminds me of a joke. From some movie. I'm trying to remember which one. It was a mostly bad movie, if I remember correctly, except for this joke. It had some popular girls in it. They said "like" a lot. Here's the joke:

In some bar, Hydrogen and Oxygen are mixing with each other over some water (ha! my addition to the joke) when Gold walks in. Hydrogen suddenly seems very disgruntled so, to prevent any moodiness, Oxygen calls out, "'ey, you! We don't want your kind here..."

Maybe this is better said aloud. Because writing 'ey you is not quite the same as saying the letters. But maybe it's still brilliant?

I'm still desperately hoping that someone will one day see me wearing my nerdy calculus sweatshirt (make sure you look at the back too) and approach me to tell me how funny it is. Because my theory is: if someone is smart enough to get the sweatshirt AND bold enough to approach me about it, I should pretty much do them, right? We'll see how this goes. If it's like... an old dude or something, the deal's off. On verra...

Oh yeah, also I'm not an acting major anymore.

"Special Skills: Ukulele, Knitting, Can look pregnant"

We left off with our protagonist, Kinzie, a not-very-sober gal, walking by the full length mirror in her room...

I walked by the mirror, glanced at myself, and continued on to my bed. Almost contently asleep, I opened my eyes with a realization. "I'm pregnant!" "liek omg lols, I'M PREGNANT." I promptly got back out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror. Sure enough, I was pregnant. No doubt about it, there was a baby in my belly. I stood sideways in the mirror. Yep. Still pregnant. Retrospectively, the weirdest thing about this situation was that I wasn't freaked out. I wasn't concerned about my future, any potential side effects, let alone the concern of how I got pregnant in the first place. Nope, I was just pregnant. All right!

So the next thing I did was try on all my clothes. Almost all of them. I might have missed a shirt or two. And I distinctly remember being in awe of the fact that all my clothes still fit. How versatile, I thought! Then I decided that being up so early and not sleeping much was not good for the baby. So I layed down in my bed, on my back with my belly protruding into the air.

"Oops, this is not good for the baby." Apparently I was in a bad position. So I gathered up all my pillows [note: I have a lot of pillows. A lot. As in, two body pillows, several Moshis, and a few weird bean-filled things... A lot.], and I surrounded myself with them. I lifted my belly and placed it delicately on the Moshi immediately to the right of me. "Good, this is good for the baby." I fell asleep.

I was, to say the least, very confused about the mound of pillows when I woke up. But then I remembered. "Oh yeah, I was pregnant."

First post of '08

Man. We're lame. I'm gonna work on posting more, I promise. I probably will once I have actual work to do. Not that I don't now, but ... I'm not doing it either? Meh.

Also, I'm gonna finish my Ode. Soon. But first...



This is not true anymore. I'm lame and tried it. But surriously, folks, what's the deal with that? How many people (apart from Marty/Ben who could totally conceivably die in a blogging accident) could possibly die while typing on a computer? Electrocution? Too many thoughts? Explosion of the brain? I'm baffled.